Please excuse the punny title. Dylan doesn’t quite approve, but he doesn’t really have to…I like it ;).
I am finally writing again about ADVENTURES! As I said in Summer Dreams, I have the summer off. It’s finally here: no more getting up at 5:30 to work out before working all day, breakfast and lunch and dinner prepped and ready the night before. No more stressful days with children and exhausted evenings of Netflix.
I make it sound pretty terrible – it’s really not. I do like my job. But, it was definitely wearing me out! It’s definitely a struggle sometimes to remain in balance. It will be much worse next year, with grad school and work and my nutrition program (yep!), but my hope is that the bustle will energize me.
Summer adventures are in full swing, and it’s only Day 3 of summer. Dylan and I drove for 13 hours yesterday to Salt Lake City. My main goal in SLC was to stalk Melissa Hartwig, inventor of Whole30 (no sightings yet). The secondary goal is to hike, hang out in coffee shops, and settle into two weeks of desert sun and outdoor escapades.
First impressions: it’s WARM! We left the cold and rain behind and found the sun. It’s awesome (but I am wearing so so so much sunscreen on my pale white PNW skin – Ghost Anne with Hat).
Dylan and I are making an effort to cook and eat whole foods as much as we do at home. I love having his support, and I think he loves the lifestyle as much as I do (win). In fact, it has stopped being “the whole30” and has started being my life. It’s honestly not worth deviating from when your breakfast is a kale and sausage omelette with some vanilla almond milk yogurt. And matcha tea with honey.
Our first day, today, has been amazing. We slept in, then went for a hike on SLC’s “living room” trail. It was about three miles, uphill up and downhill down. It was tiring and hot, but short enough that we just got great exercise. Plus, the views:
It’s called “Living Room” because there are chairs built out of rocks in the hillside. We reclined for a bit and had some snacks.
Now we’re out and about, having coffee and working. Dylan is not as lucky as me – no teacher perk summer vacation for him. Too bad 🙂
The weather is FINALLY hot, guys. The sun came out of hiding. Thank Zeus. Er, I’m sorry, Helios – let’s keep it going, buddy.
I am definitely a cold-weather person at heart. But let’s just say that the past FOUR DAYS of sun have been the LONGEST STRETCH of sunny weather since SEPTEMBER??? Sorry, I’ll stop yelling. It’s been a rough winter.
So anyway, this weather has gotten me thinking – hard – and when I’m supposed to be doing other things – about all the fun things I want to do this summer. Here are my summer dreams:
Become a wellness blogger. One amazing thing that has come out of the Whole30 is that I have discovered this community of people on the interwebs that are doing the whole food/healthy lifestyle thing in really down-to-earth ways. They’ve become my main sources of inspiration and information as I embark on this journey to figure out what the heck is inflaming my system. I have since become really interested in the idea that food and mental health are very connected, and that nutrition could be the key to reducing things like anxiety and boosting peoples’ moods. My goal for the summer is to explore wellness and see what I can give back to this amazing group of influencers!
Read. Lots. Now is the moment when I casually drop into my blog post that I am going to grad school in the Fall. Starting in September, I will be a student of humanistic psychology with the goal of becoming a therapist? Although I still harbor secret dreams of being a professor and researcher and writing a book. And I will be working as well. So, I want to get a head start on my reading for next year as well as dive into the stack of books I’ve had sitting next to my bed forrrrrrever. I can’t wait to be #learning again.
Plan the heck out of next year. Planning is something that I just will not have time to do, and it is also probably the most important thing that I do as a teacher (along with manage the class and stuff like that of course). When I start the year, I want my projects planned out for each level so that I know my major units and when things will be assigned and due. It’ll be easier than last year, because last year I was going in blind!
Do yoga and barre and run and dance and walk and hike and camp and swim and…One of the major, like indescribably major, benefits of getting my health things figured out is that I have way more energy than ever before. A combination of better thyroid performance and less chronic inflammation (no more asthma) makes it so much more fun to exercise! I really can’t believe that I was missing out on this feeling. Plus, with the weather, I just wanna get outside. It calms my mood and body system like no other thing does.
Ciao for now. Time to get back to work. TTY soon 🙂
It’s a sad truth: people have a hard time loving themselves. I think we all have moments.
I was in a therapy group in college that talked about women’s issues, such as: body image, women in society, sexuality, relationships (familial and friendly included), and health (mental and physical). It was life-changing for many reasons, but one activity that I remember in particular was as follows:
Choose a part of your body (or yourself) that you tend to be very negative about. Maybe you think your stomach has an extra roll or two. Maybe it’s your skin, which breaks out (with acne? with eczema?) at the worst times. Maybe it’s a personality trait (too bossy? too needy? too sensitive?).
Write a letter to yourself, from its perspective. Here’s an example.
When you look at me in disgust and wish I went away, it makes me more angry. I can feel your wrath about me in the stress hormones which elevate in your bloodstream. I can’t really help that I show up; I just follow what your body tells me to do. If you really want to help me, you can do it by taking care of yourself. Make sure that what you eat isn’t triggering an immune response. If you do trigger me once in a while, it’s okay – I’ll always forgive you and calm down again. But really, I am happiest when you are happiest, because that’s when you make the best choices for yourself (and for me).
I think that sometimes I get this idea in my head that making a change involves criticizing the status quo. It’s the idea that in order to move forward, I have to be dissatisfied with something in my present situation. It’s true that dissatisfaction is really worth listening to – but listening to it must be done lovingly.
Think about the language we use, particularly when it comes to exercise and eating. Some of us aren’t satisfied unless we’ve beat ourselves up at the gym, unless we’re in pain by the time the workout is over – unless we punish ourselves by not giving in and eating that cupcake, because we haven’t earned it. We beat our muscles into existence and our fat into submission. Our bodies become outlets for our angst and the objects of our discontent.
Melissa Hartwig, in Food Freedom Forever, wrote the following (I may be paraphrasing):
“What if food is just food, and our choices are just our choices?”
This struck a huge chord with me. Even if I’ve never personally had disordered eating habits (a real danger in this toxic food culture), I realized that I have always been low-key angsty about my food and exercise. If I wanted a cookie, I did think about how I hadn’t exercised enough that day. When I exercised, I could eat more. When I felt bloated or frustrated with my appearance, it was my fault for not exercising and eating too much.
Making these lifestyle changes has introduced a new way of thinking about all of this.
When you’re listening to your body – eating the right food for you, moving at the right times, and otherwise nourishing your body with whatever it needs – there’s just simply nothing to worry about.
I don’t habitually think about how much I’m eating, how much I’m exercising, or whether my body is adequate or inadequate in appearance anymore. All that matters is how it is functioning.
Do I get hungry too often? I need to eat more protein. Do I feel bloated or icky? Maybe what I ate wasn’t the right thing for that moment. Does it feel stiff or sore? Maybe I need a walk, or gentle stretching. Is it buzzing and jittery? Maybe I have lots of energy to burn, and I need to do a barre class or a run.
In short, taking care of myself means giving myself what I need, when I need it. Sometimes I mess up, and that’s fine – it’s not so hard to get back on track when there’s not a ton of pressure or really high stakes. Nothing is “failure,” or “success.” There are only things that work for me at that time, and things that don’t happen to work then, but might eventually. This listening and responding takes daily practice, and is hard to figure out sometimes.
But, this is the freedom that Melissa refers to: freedom from all the pressure and anxiety that often plagues our minds and bodies.
Some people probably naturally respond to themselves in this way. It took a long time for me to learn it. It started with my first Whole30, when I realized what an impact I could have on myself by feeding me properly. Physical changes made mental changes, and vice versa, in a lovely circle.
Now I am convinced that in order to be healthy, I must try to love myself. If I love myself, I care for myself as I would care for someone I love. And it’s important, because it makes it much easier to feel secure, and happy, and to care for others as well.
My personal challenge, and yours too if you want: next time I find myself frustrated or angsty about something in my body or mind that’s not right, I will ask myself: what do I really need right now to feel loved?
As I got more and more into my Whole30 journey, I collected new blogs, Instagram accounts, and cookbooks that served as great resources when I needed inspiration. I thought I’d share some of them here.
Against All Grain: Danielle Walker makes amazing recipes. I have two of her books, Celebrations and Against All Grain, and I like looking through both for new meals to try. I use her recipe for nut milk, which is super simple and delicious!
Shut the Kale Up: Her Instagram is more in-depth than her website, but she is generally just so cool. Her bowls are drool-worthy and her son is adorable. She has lots of cool wisdom to share, and is very real about her lifestyle and how personalized everyone’s lifestyle should be.
Minimalist Baker: Dana makes recipes that are fast, easy, and amazing. Her vegan parmesan cheese is something I’ve been wanting to try for a while, and her baked goods are allergy friendly and always look scrumptious. I’ve made a variation of her vegan cheese several times. Cashews make amazing dairy replacement products, who knew!?
The other things I use all the time for recipe inspiration are the Whole30 Cookbook and the original Whole30 book. I’ve recommended both to friends and family members and everyone loves them. The recipes are simple, easy, and usually all the ingredients are things people have on hand. I highly recommend them – even if you aren’t doing a Whole30 anytime soon, or ever.
Hope you enjoy these resources! Message or comment if you’ve found some hidden gems that I haven’t.
In my post on Food and Feelings last time, I talked about my meltdown of a couple of weeks ago, when things just seemed so hard. After that, I was given the green light to add some things that I’d taken out – Thai food (no soy, though), rice, maybe quinoa or other gluten free grains, and mayyyybe paleo sweeteners, like honey and maple syrup.
For the first week, this went okay. I accidentally ate soy sauce because there was free octopus salad at my favorite sushi bar. Cue hand hives. It happened about ten minutes post-consumption: tiny red, itchy spots under my skin. Cue feelings of guilt, frustration, and general angst about the unfairness of it all.
In the following two weeks, my forays out of the Whole30 guidelines included rice cakes, almond flour crackers from Simple Mills (this was really made with all compliant ingredients, but is an SWYPO situation), and coconut butter cups from Eating Evolved (coconut sugar). I also had half a girl scout cookie, and…I think that’s it. Until last weekend.
It was my friend’s going away party. I was prepared with compliantly roasted chips and paleo chili. I swung by Trader Joe’s to pick up some gin and carbonated water – the first alcohol I’d have in 2017. When I arrived, I spontaneously decided that this would be a YOLO night. No more worrying about ingredients, no more label-reading or sticking just to what I knew I could consume without repercussions. So, throughout the evening, I consumed: dark chocolate peanut butter cups, gin and soda water, tequila, tomato (in the chili), and a slice of cake.
It doesn’t sound like much. It didn’t feel like much. But, the next morning, I instantly decided: NOT worth it.
Melissa Hartwig, in Food Freedom Forever, promotes a really great system for enacting the “food freedom” that comes post-Whole30. True food freedom is all about making very mindful choices and critically thinking about what you put into your body.
For example – you will not suddenly want to eat more cake when it’s your birthday. Your body doesn’t know it’s your birthday. If you see some amazing treat, Melissa challenges you to decide, with thorough and conscientious thinking, whether that treat is “worth it.” In other words: armed with the information that Whole30 gave you about how that will affect your body, what is the best course of action? It’s sometimes to eat it… and sometimes, it’s to not eat it.
My first mistake was the gin. I had maybe two drinks of it, but it impacted my ability to make mindful choices for the rest of the evening. My other mistake was deciding to throw the rules out the window. I could have had a few peanut butter cups and been satisfied. But, because I was eating “whatever,” I had to try everything.
Why wasn’t it worth it? For the whole day afterward, I was in bed with a variety of symptoms: stomach distress, a massive headache, fatigue, bloating, and suddenly worsened eczema. I was angsty and irascible. On Sunday, I had a glass of wine with friends. Not only is alcohol not great because it annihilates gut bacteria, but I am also sensitive to grapes, sugar and brewing yeast; this did not go well either. Going back to work on Monday was the worst. I slept poorly for a few days in a row, waking up stressed in the early morning. My mood was depressed; I was less patient and much less fun with the kids.
On Wednesday, I talked to my doctor. She told me to go back to what I know works for me: Whole30 eating. After 14 days of that, I’m supposed to reintroduce a medical food she prescribed me for people with malabsorption. It has sugar in it, so I have to monitor my reaction and make sure it’s okay for me to consume. Round 3, Day 6.
I follow so many bloggers now who are Whole30, Paleo, health nutty clean eaters. They are often very inspiring, because they show me that it’s possible to get where I want to go. But sometimes, looking at their social media accounts makes me feel like they’ve achieved a perfection that I haven’t achieved yet (that cliché instagram probem). My life right now feels out of balance.
I think it’s important to hear from people in this stage, the struggle to back in balance: the stage where you don’t think it will ever happen, and it feels really hard, and you’re in the middle of this giant life change which exhausts your willpower muscles to a maximum.
But, in the back of my mind, I know that I’m on a right track. My diet right now includes so many nutrients, so much produce, and so much variety. I am getting better at combining simple ingredients to make varied and delicious meals, and I am really comfortable in the kitchen.
Shepherd’s Pie: experiments in seasoning
Prep mode strong
Meal for family!
People often express pity that I can’t eat all of the things. My external response is: yeah, it’s hard. My internal response is: but, it’s not worth it for me to eat like I used to. What I put in my body has too much physical, mental and emotional impact on me to ignore. It wasn’t always this way, and I hope it won’t always be this way, but for now I’m embracing my reality and thanking this experience for forcing me into a healthful and nourishing lifestyle.
On that note, I’m thinking of starting a project: developing my blog even more, as if it were my full-time job. If I were to write much more often, what do you want to hear? What do you like about my blog? What do you wish I did differently/more of? You can help by leaving a comment addressing any and all of these questions. Let’s learn and grow together :).
Food and I have a relationship. One of the things I love and hate about the whole30 is that it purports to change your “relationship” with food. Only in the midst of my 2nd? 3rd? round do I finally realize exactly what kind of relationship they mean.
Food is the most significant other we have. It’s in our life daily. We depend on it for sustenance. It makes us feel happy, sad, frustrated, tired. It’s also an activity that connects us to other people. It’s how we celebrate and socialize. I didn’t realize how impactful it was until I started intentionally thinking about that impact.
But guys, changing that relationship is hard.
I had a meltdown at the doctor’s office this week, because she started telling me about more stuff I can try to help me digest things. Subconsciously, I wanted her to say, “you’re healed, go forth and eat all the things.”
Of course that wasn’t the reality. Guts are hard to heal, and it takes a lot of time and patience and healthy, clean choices. I’ve been pretty positive and gung-ho and energetic about my new lifestyle for the past 55 days…but suddenly, in the past couple of weeks, I can’t help thinking about what I’m missing.
The Domino’s ads on my Insta feed make me drool. The pastries at coffee shops call out to me: “eat us…” My housemate made pesto tortellini the other night and I spent a good three minutes staring at the pot, smelling the cheese, and thinking to myself: “would just one really hurt?”
Probably not, is the answer, which makes it harder to resist. But then again, maybe it kind of would.
The tough thing about chronic inflammation in the body, especially related to food, is that it is low-grade, and seems “normal.” I didn’t know I was always tired and foggy, or how much my allergies, reactive airways and eczema affected me – until all these things cleared up. I didn’t know how bad off I was until I gradually got better. And, once you have one tortellini, it’s easy to have more, thinking there’s no problem – until you gradually get worse again.
Hence, the strict process of “reintroduction,” which I am now entering. I made a list of foods I really want to eat again. Thai food, gluten-free grains, and maybe some goat milk yogurt and granola (with paleo sweeteners) all made the list.
Post-meltdown, my doc gave me a great reminder – whatever you do, the most important thing is to listen to your body. If I’m craving dietary variety, it’s a sign that it’s time to start adding things in. But, in order to keep and bolster my new relationship with food, I need to be very intentional about how that happens. The goal is to eat those things I miss one at a time, leaving a couple of days of Whole30 between each new thing so that I can tell if it impacts my system, and how.
After my meltdown, I realized another thing that’s been getting me down: because I am still in the thick of it, I haven’t taken enough moments to celebrate the lifestyle changes I’ve made successfully so far.
One reason for this goes back to my relationship with food as celebration. We have cake at birthdays, dinner on Valentine’s Day, feasts on Thanksgiving and Christmas, and wine and cupcakes and happy hour snacks when it’s Friday.
How do I celebrate without treats? How do I treat myself without sweets? That’s what I have to figure out.
But first – a Pressed Juicery Freeze, because old habits die hard.
Meal prepping is the part of eating real food that takes the most activation energy, time, and is a huge deterrent for many people. It’s the part that took longest to learn, and sometimes I just can’t even, and I pull out a frozen meal or eat my “things that taste great with almond butter” plate (starring: plantain chips, carrots, and apples).
Speaking of frozen meals, I’ll launch right into it with tip #1:
When you make a lot of something, freeze two servings.
I can’t be the only one who gets tired of eating the same leftovers night after night. Before starting the Whole30, I got into a rhythm where I’d cook a compliant meal in a big batch on the weekend and freeze some servings in Ziploc bags, labeled with what it was. This prep definitely saved my butt on days when school was in session and I’d forgotten to buy more veggies (ratatouille time!), or if the weather was colder than usual and I didn’t feel like cold lunch (hello, butternut squash and sausage soup).
Since beginning the Whole30, whenever I make something and don’t feel like I’m going to eat it all by the time it goes bad, I stick it in a bag and freeze it. Getting bored with your food is the enemy of a great Whole30; prep will ensure that you don’t get tired of your meals!
On the weekend, or whenever you have more time than usual, make 2-3 proteins and a couple of veggie dishes.
I always make sure I have enough different things that I can eat them in various combinations for at least three days. Usually, I have a little time to run to the store on Wednesday or Thursday, but I try to only need veggies. Here’s an example of things I would prep on a weekend day:
Curried Carrot and Sweet Potato Soup (Whole30 Cookbook)
Homemade sausage or meatballs
Roasted brussels sprouts and broccoli (about 1 pack of each, pre-cut, from Trader Joe’s)
Roasted sweet potatoes (dicing these takes forever, so at least dice up a few potatoes when you’ve got the time)
Chicken thighs or whole shredded chicken
This menu would give me enough for a few different meal options. Maybe I’d have the homemade sausage with sweet potatoes for Monday breakfast, brussels and bacon for lunch and chicken thighs with soup for dinner. On Tuesday, I’d have bacon and broccoli for breakfast, a shredded chicken salad with greens for lunch, and sweet potatoes with meatballs for dinner. And so on, and so on.
The plus side of this menu is that there’s only one or two real recipes (homemade meatballs/sausage, carrot soup); the rest of the prep is ripping and dumping for roasting (veggies) or slow cooking (whole chicken).
When you have no time, roast.
Roasting is Whole30 microwaving. It’s quick, super simple, and makes for delicious meals.
My favorite weeknight quick breakfast prep for the next few mornings is to slice up some Aidell’s Chicken and Apple Sausages (fully cooked, but I like to char ’em) and roast them on a big sheet pan with sweet potatoes or brussels sprouts for maybe 30 mins. Sometimes I’ll season them with curry and cumin, sometimes cinnamon, sometimes just salt and pepper and garlic powder, and it’s extra tasty when everything is cooked in olive oil.
Meats are always great roasted, as are root vegetables of any kind. I also like roasting kale until it’s super melt-in-my-mouth crispy. Yum.
Remix your leftovers.
Get some Tessemae’s in your life. They didn’t have Whole30 compliant condiments (that I was aware of) last time I did the Whole30, but these have changed my life. This past week, I had a big pan of roasted butternut squash chunks and kale from one dinner, plus some crispy turkey (from the Whole30 cookbook) from a different meal. I put them together and added some Tessemae’s mild buffalo sauce (also comes in HOT!) and it was an entirely different meal than either of the first two. I could’ve added spinach underneath and made it a salad by putting a dressing on top. Food is so versatile, especially when previously roasted!
Even if you don’t have jazzy condiments, make sure you eat foods in a variety of combinations. It will, again, help to avoid food boredom.
Why is food boredom an issue, again?
Here’s my experience: the moments when I start thinking about all the stuff I can’t eat and miss eating are the moments when I have to eat the same old thing for dinner as I ate for lunch, and I know exactly what flavors are coming and I’m just…well…bored. When I’ve whipped up something new and exciting, all I’m thinking about is how great it feels to cook and eat all the good stuff and know that it’s nourishing and healthful.
The single best thing you can do for yourself on a Whole30-type diet is to put some extra energy into preparation, so you’re excited to eat what you’re eating. Trust me, you will discover some delicious, nutritious stuff!